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| i cant believe that summer is like...halfway over. i am so depressed. but acually not really...cause its saturday!! yayay!! and i go on vacation in a week, where i will be doing nothing but tanning!!!! and reading those books for AP american lit.......yuck oh well..i've put them off long enough. i hung with jessica this week! yay....we watched 13 going on 30...which was really weird......like...i dunno i didn't like it very much. but it was cool hanging with jessica....i think we should go to the beach soon. i haven't been there all summer...its kind of depressing. and im totally not tan at allll but it's been so cloudy. like everytime i want to go tan, it's cloudy and im like that's stupid. im so sad that i didnt go to warped tour to see relient k! dani called me from there and said they were really good...i dont know what other bands were playing but im sure i'd like some of them...but it's probably better that i didn't spend that money. cause i need to save to go shopping!! i need clothes so bad...i wear the same thing like everyday...so if u want to go shopping let me kno!! ok well....im going to go amuse myself by putting some crazy makeup on!! | | |
| so i got my hair cut today. i love getting it cut. it's like a fresh new beginning....like...you have a new look, so you can be a new person. but then no one seems to notice...and then it's not that big of a deal. i hate that. like sometimes u just want people to be like....man lisa you look hot! hahahahaha...but of course that never happens. i dunno....i guess i feel like i need a new....change. and i kno i've been talking about that non stop...but its summer. and u always kinda want a change in summer...and plus im 16...like...the world is so full of change now...and i want some of it! is that a bad thing? i dont even kno. i dont kno anything any more. | | |
| i thought this summer would be really fun. i mean i have a job so i should have money......and me and all my friends can drive...so we should be able to do more. but it's not working out that way. and im sad. cause its been cloudy so i cant even tan! well hopefully .............hopefully a lot of things will happen. i feel so whiny in this thing...cause i'm like is i want a boyfriend...or i want this shirt...i wish i could just be content.
man it's funny how that works....i was listening to music and trying to think of something to write....and read these lyrics that were playing...
i'll tell you flat out/it hurts so much to think of this/so from my thoughts i will exclude/this very thing that i hate more than everyting is the way im powerless to dictate my own moods/i've thrown away/so many things that could've been much more/ and i just pray my problems go away if they're ignored/but that's not the way it works/no that's not the way it works
man.....thats weird when stuff like that happens...the whole song is kind of what im feeling right now. i feel like im in an inbetween stage at my life...and i cant wait to finally get over the hill...but at the same time im scared of change and i dont want everything to be messed up...but things aren't great now and i almost want change because i've been feeling this feeling that i need to change things up for a while now.......i dont kno. i feel like i dont fit in with my friends at school...like seperatly i do....but when they're all together i feel out of place. like im almost an entertainment...like when things get boring lets just let lisa entertain us...and now im used to it but it shouldn't be that way. i want friends who at parties entertain each other..and we dont just sit around watching bad tv. and i kno i sound mean right now...and for all my friends reading this i dont hate you or anything.....but i think u kno that im feeling kinda weird. and now i feel as like my old "group" of friends really isn't mine anymore. and it sucks. | | |
| well i thought i'd give this another shot! let me just update you on my summer so far....i work at the park district as an administrative assistant....which basically means that i get paid $8 and hour to file papers....ya. umm kelly moved...but she's coming home soon!! yay! but before she left i stole like ALL her cds and now im totally into nsync....it's really funny. i like the no strings attached cd. i think u guys should dig it out and listen to it again. umm....well.....i dunno...my life is kinda boring right now. and im looking for my beach pass so maybe i can meet a cute guy!! that would be sweeeeet. 
hahaha...ok well u guys should go listen to nsnyc!!!! | | |
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